At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
