Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
