If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
