Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I have already put on my inside pants.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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