You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
