Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We are all done wearing pants today
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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