I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
