Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Houston, we have a blender
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
