Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
