yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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