two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
