Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i came on her dog
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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