he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
