oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
