1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
