What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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