Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
