This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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