my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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