now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
