what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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