Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize