He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
