If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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