it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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