What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
