love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
