i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
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