Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize