i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
