I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
