I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
