Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
