you would pick up someone in the library
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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