VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
i would punch a child for taco bell
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
