I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
