I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
