It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
