I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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