Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
