Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
