Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We talked him into tasing himself.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
