You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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