Christians are straight up FREAKS
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
