nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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