Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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