Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
last night I used snow as a chaser
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
