I wanna bring you to show and tell
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
