put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
