I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
