i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
