He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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